Protected: Losing Control

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Stream of Consciousness

He woke up earlier than usual on a beautiful, fall Monday morning to help out a friend in need. Even though he didn’t feel like doing his friend a favor, he felt like God was leading him in that direction. So, he obeyed and felt thankful. Later that afternoon, another friend of his asked him for the key to the office space they both share because he had locked himself out by accident. However, at the time he was studying in the library and didn’t want to leave his table. But, again he felt compelled by the Spirit to help out this friend, so he obeyed and walked to the office to open the door for his friend. As he was walking back to the library, he said a prayer of thanksgiving to the Lord for giving him the chance to help his friends. But, he is also a man filled with many shortcomings, one of them being thinking too much when things seem amiss which can lead to internal panic and anxiety attacks. After trying to get work done in the library during the day, he left to get dinner at the school Subway. While he was in line, he saw that three of his ‘so-called friends’ were directly behind him, but none of them said a word to him. While he was definitely used to one of them constantly giving him the cold shoulder, he was rather surprised to see the other two guys doing the same. But he tried not to let it get to him so just left them after getting his sandwich. After returning to his table in the library, he opened his sandwich…only to discover that the sandwich he actually ordered and the one that his cold-shoulder friend ordered had been mixed up. He just laughed out of disbelief and dismay…and complained how he had helped out his friends but he couldn’t even get the dinner he wanted. He even felt manipulated by others and began to think that others simply used him for their own gain. At the same time, he was frustrated at how he was once again letting the ignorance/indifference/hate from a few people undermine the undeserving care/love he gets from many others by God’s grace. In the midst of these mixed emotions, he took the time to pray in silence, asking for forgiveness, encouragement, and peace in his heart. “Jesus saw his disciple denying him three times, but he still loved him, ” he kept whispering to himself. “God put me in those situations, and I must honor that regardless of the outcome, instead of thinking about whether things went my way or not.” So, if I love God and how much he’s done for me, then I ought to love others even though they may give me the cold shoulder…because that’s what Jesus would’ve done…

And this is all he can say…for now. Until next time…

If a Christian commits suicide, is he still forgiven?

From an article in Christian Apologetics & Research Ministry:

This might seem like a perplexing question, but it does have an answer. Though the Christian who has committed suicide has committed a grave sin, he is still forgiven. But, in order to understand why a Christian who commits suicide is forgiven, we first need to understand what salvation is and what it is based upon.

Salvation is the state of being saved from God’s judgment upon the sinner. The only way to be saved is to trust Jesus for the forgiveness of one’s sins (John 14:6, Acts 4:12). All who do not trust Jesus alone, by faith (Rom. 5:1; Rom. 6:23; Eph. 2:8-9) are not forgiven and go to hell when they die (Matt. 25:46; John 3:18). When Jesus forgives someone, He forgives all their sins and gives them eternal life and they shall never perish (John 10:28). He does not give them temporary eternal life — otherwise, it would not be eternal.

Salvation is not based upon what you do. In other words, you don’t have to obey any Law of God in order to become saved. This is because no one is saved by keeping the Law of God (Gal. 2:21; Rom. 3:24-28). But that does not mean that you can go and sin all you want. Rom. 6:1-3 expressly condemns such action. Instead, we are saved for the purpose of purity (1 Thess. 4:7). Our salvation is strictly from God: “By grace through faith you have been saved…” (Eph. 2:8). Other than acting by faith in trusting and accepting what Jesus did on the cross, you don’t do a thing (John 1:12-3) in order to become saved. Since you did not get your salvation by what you did, you can not lose it by what you do.

What about the unforgivable sin? Is that suicide? No. Suicide is not the unforgivable sin. Jesus spoke of the unforgivable sin in Matt. 12:22-32. The context is when the Pharisees accused Jesus of casting out demons by the power of the devil. Therefore, suicide is not the unforgivable sin.
Is repentance necessary for salvation?

This is a good question and the answer is yes — and no. Now, before you throw stones, hear me out. Repentance is a necessary result of the saving work of God, not the cause of salvation. If repentance brought salvation, then salvation is by works; or rather, the ceasing of bad works. That isn’t how it works. God grants repentance to the Christian (2 Tim. 2:25). The Christian then turns from his sin; that is, he stops sinning. He is able to repent because he is saved, not to get saved.

In 1 John 1:9 it says, “If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Confession of sin and its natural result of repentance are necessary elements of the Christian’s life. But, what about the sins that we do not know we commit? If we do not confess them and do not repent of them, are we still saved? Of course we are! Otherwise, we would be forced to confess and repent of every single sin we ever commit. In effect, we’d be back under the Law, living by a rule of absolute repentance of every detail lest you be damned. This is bondage, not freedom. Jesus said His yoke was light, not hard (Matt. 11:27-30.

So, repentance is not the cause of salvation, but it is a result of salvation. The believer repents from his sins upon trusting in Christ and thereafter, continues to repent of further sins that the Lord reveals to him.
Back to the suicide issue

Suicide is, in effect, self-murder. The unfortunate thing about it is that the one who commits it cannot repent of it. The damage is permanently done. We can see in the Bible that murderers have been redeemed (Moses, David, etc.), but they had opportunities to confess their sins and repent. With suicide, the person does not. But that does not mean the person is lost. Jesus bore all that person’s sins, including suicide. If Jesus bore that person’s sins on the cross 2000 years ago, and if suicide was not covered, then the Christian was never saved in the first place and the one sin of suicide is able to undo the entire work of the cross of Christ. This cannot be. Jesus either saves completely or he does not.
Is suicide always wrong?

That I cannot answer because I cannot list every possible situation. But, it seems obvious that suicide is clearly wrong, though forgivable. However, there are general categories of suicide on which we could briefly comment:

Medically Assisted Suicide – I’ve never seen this as being acceptable. The doctor is supposed to save life, not destroy it. But, lately as destroying the lives of the unborn is more common place, destroying the lives of the sick has become the next logical step.

Suicide to prevent prolonged torture – Let’s say that someone was being tortured in an excruciating manner for an unbearably long period of time, is suicide an option? Perhaps. But if it were in this situation, why wouldn’t it be all right in the medically-assisted context if the patient were also in excruciating pain for long periods of time? Quite honestly, I’m not sure how to answer that one.

Suicide due to depression – Of course, this is never a good reason for suicide. Seasons pass and so does depression. The one who is depressed needs to look to Jesus and get help. Depression is real and powerful and is best fought with help. Also, severe depression robs the mind of clear thinking. People in such states are despondent, not in their right mind.

Suicide due to a chemical imbalance in the brain – The human brain is incredibly complex and the medical community is full of accounts of extraordinary behaviors by people whose “circuits got crossed.” I don’t see how a situation like this would make it justifiable. I think it simply would make it more explainable.

Accidental suicide – Sometimes people accidentally kill themselves. This could mean leaning over a balcony too far and falling to one’s death, or actually, purposefully taking a stupid risk like playing with a gun. Of course, with either, stupidity does not remove us from the grace of God.
Conclusion

Is the Christian forgiven for suicide? Yes. But suicide is not an option. We do not have the right to take our own lives. That belongs to God.

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In times that these thoughts come to my mind, gotta remember Galations 6:9. “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

아무 것도 아닌 나 (I’m Nothing At All)

Haven’t written anything here in almost four months…wow. I need to be less lazy and be able to share my thoughts whether people read this or not, because God reads this. You may think from reading the title that this is yet another rant filled with negativity. But, I really want to focus on a positive light as much as I can on this blog. Especially since the past couple of months God has blessed me so much even though I don’t deserve any of it. He has given me a job to work as an intern for a global company, He has allowed me to attend JCA consistently again, He has taught me to be just happy for someone you care about no matter what. Yes, I still struggle with anger management, still need to work on smiling naturally more, still gotta stop being discontent with where my life is going. I may not have the looks, brains, or whatever, but God has put me in this place for a reason even though I am ordinary and maybe even nothing at all compared to Him. But, he does says in Isaiah 43:19 “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

Anyways, the reason for this particular title came from this new song below. Hope you enjoy the soothing music!

Motivate me, Oh God

“I understand you’re busy and all, but at least show yourself once in a while. Otherwise we can’t pray for you…”

This quote by somebody reminded me of last year, where I was serving as a helper in Tamara’s family group. There were a couple of guys, George and Kaluana, who came out just once, maybe twice in the entire school year. In spite of this, Tamara always seemed to talk about how we should pray for those guys regardless of whether they come to FG consistently or not. They may have some tough things going on that we don’t know about but God knows. I remember how this really touched me and that having other people praying for you is…really something special.

I know that my family, at least, constantly prays for me to live my life for the Lord. And knowing this, I do pray for others as often as I can, even though it may not always show on my face. But, certain events recently have just kept on discouraging me from fully coming back to JCA. Like the quote above, I want to say it really doesn’t bother me, but the truth is it does. Why would any human being want to be with people who has said negative things to you? I understand I have done the same to some people, and it’s clear they don’t even want to acknowledge me or come even near me. I was really just joking and trying to make conversation with you, but I get it, it’s cool. You have a right to decide who you want to talk to and who you want to ignore. Anyways, it’s been a while since I’ve been involved in JCA activities as much as I have been in the past, and I really want to be motivated to get back to things, how they used to be. I trust that God will motivate me and help me back on my feet, but only time will tell what happens from here on.

Good Charlotte- Motivation Proclamation

부활- 비밀(Secret)

Amazing vocal, poetic lyrics, powerful melody…

빈 의자만 마주 앉아서, 가끔 나혼자서 말을 하고
언제 부턴가 나도 모르는 사이, 자꾸 뒤돌아보게 되고

비밀처럼 계절이 흘러, 상처 들이 아물어 가면
설레이던 너는 설레이던 너는, 한편의 시가 되고

너무나 보고싶어서 보고싶어져서, 가끔씩은 두눈을 감곤 해
너와 난 사랑을 하던 날들과 헤어지던 날을, 난 간직하게 되
너무나 그리워 져서 너무 그리워서, 너의 이름을 홀로 부르곤 해
너무 사랑 해서 너무 사랑 해서, 넌 내안에 늘 있나봐 있나봐

Music for a Rainy Day

It’s amazing how praying gives you peace and joy even through the tough times. My mom and aunt got back safely from Korea, and they say Grandma is doing well. I heard that when the nurse asked her what her religion is, her response was “I don’t believe in other Gods; I only believe in Christ Jesus, Father of this universe.” Sadly though, she cannot keep these memories for very long and needs to be constantly reminded of who is next to her, where she is, etc. The doctors say she’s maybe got a few months left to live. But, the important thing is that we are all happy that soon she’ll join Grandpa in heaven and that when the time comes we’ll be able to meet again in His kingdom. Thanks, Lord, for letting Grandma be in peace and for giving me hope and reassurance in this life.

Anyways, hope you enjoy the song on this rainy night.

Clazziquai- Dance